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Here I come

I don’t know if anyone else my age has noticed but getting up the hill sure seemed to take a lot longer than the ride down the backside. Once you are over the hill you better hold on. The pace picks up as the wrinkles deepen!

Where has all the time gone? My wife and I were at dinner recently with close friends. We happened to be at the right place at the right time. Dinner was blessed by the wooing tunes of a 60-something Neil Diamond wanna-be lounge singer.

Don’t get me wrong, but do get the picture right, this guy was good, suave, debonair and old!!!!!

He had the ladies eating out of his hand. He loved it. They loved it and we loved watching the gray-haired debutantes love it.

Then it hit me. I am closer in age to these Botox super-injected seniors than I am to my oldest daughter! What??!!! No!! Wait!!! Slow down this train. Somebody hit eject on this cruise ship to the nursing home. Man over board! I’m out of here! By the looks of this bunch, there is definitely something worse than dying, it’s called getting old!

I’m starting to feel it. It’s sneaking in. I’m trying to resist it, but my eyes, despite their sags, aren’t lying! I’m losing it! Who I was is fading away and who I am becoming looks more like Tim Conway doing the shuffling old man routine than I care to admit!

It took them a while. I don’t know what they were drinking but it wasn’t long before the bones quit aching and hips started shaking. These seniors were going down fighting. They may have been old but they weren’t going to let that stop them. They would rather die trying to have a good time than just sit on their buttocks, not to be confused with Botox, and waste away.

So, I suppose I will be joining them sooner rather than later on the dance floor. It might require a walker with yellow tennis balls to shake my sagging waste line, but trust me, I’ll be there, lighter in hand, arm in the air, screaming like a teenager as the lounge singer clears his throat, takes a long drag off his cigarette and gives the ladies more than their pacemakers can handle!

Look mom no hands! Here I come! The ride down the hill on the back half of 100 ain’t so bad as long as you are alive!


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