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How to ruin a friendship

How to ruin a friendship.

It has been said that a friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Good friendships are hard to come by. 

Going it alone can have its conveniences but it is hard to deny the benefits of having a great running buddy. 

A good friend lightens your load, provides a listening ear, lends a helping hand, gives an added perspective, looks out for you, challenges you to be your best, encourages you to carry on, is loyal to a fault and best of all, makes you laugh, not just a little, but a lot!

No wonder good friends are a rarity. Who can a good friend find? Oh but when you do, don’t let them go.

Friendships change. Friends come and go. Making new old friends takes time. Life happens. Circumstances change. Shared interests wane. Careers, opportunities and life can put unwelcomed distance between even the best of friends.

Modern technology has shortened the gap. Gone are the days of carrier pigeons, smoke signals, postage stamps and pay telephones. Virtual visits are now common place. Dial in the digits, and there they are right before your very eyes. A high five or a hug aren’t in the mix but sight and sound have helped us stay in touch like never before.

Despite all the advancements, friendships can do more than grow distant, they can fall apart, blow up and turn one-time comrades into outright enemies. 

How could someone so close, so caring, so interesting and so fun turn into such an evil nemesis and betrayer? It doesn’t take much. 

At its core, friendship is about sharing, caring, giving, sacrificing, and putting someone’s interests above your own. Remove any of these elements, and the cookie starts to crumble. Selfishness destroys friendships. Care more about yourself, your options and your needs and standby, your friendship is about to end. You just ruined a friendship.

No wonder it has been said that in order to have friends, you have to be a friend.

It is often easy to blame the other person for your friendship falling apart. And maybe they are truly the one who walked away, ghosted you or violated the core principles of friendship. If such is the case, be willing to mourn the loss, grieve what once was but most of all, move on. 

So much as it depends on you, commit to the best practices of friendship. Do what it takes to stick with it and make it work. But if you have tried and the other person is unable to reciprocate, make a course correction and put in the effort, release them and let them go. Don’t let a soured friendship hold you back. New friends are waiting to be made.

We are not meant to go it alone. Sometimes our paths lead to separate journeys. It’s okay. It is to be expected. Life changes, disappoints and comes with plenty of surprises and good times as well. Friendship is no different. Enjoy it while you can. Nurture it. Invest in it. Hold on to it as long as you can. 

Great friendships are rare. They are to be developed, cherished and never taken for granted.

Do your part be a good friend. When you are, don’t be surprised to find yourself enjoying the rich benefits of companionship, camaraderie, and good cheer!

Friendships take two and that includes you. Be the friend you want and you are very likely to be among the very few who have many great friendships.

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